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Rekindle Sour Relationships. Learn the art now!

Rekindle Sour Relationships:

Sometimes we see our old pictures and feel nostalgic by looking at some faces we aren’t in touch with now. Situations were so different then than it is now.

Well! Money, success, and dreams are necessary, but there isn’t going to be any enjoyment in life if you don’t have all these people standing by your side.

I feel life should have a natural- going vibe to it no matter how difficult the actual situations or circumstances are and friendships require the same ambience- easy going and forgiving.

Sometimes the memories of the kindest gestures or unforgettable moments that still have a significant effect on our present are sufficient to evoke our need to rekindle a friendship that is supposed to be long lost.

There might be guilt, or sourness too in a relationship, but life must be more about embracing than keeping distance.

Here is how you should rekindle such relationships:

Approach

It’s easy! Just don’t think about it. Do you feel it’s going to be awkward?  Well, awkwardness is a state of mind and highly contagious in nature. The more you feel awkward, the more the person in front of you feels awkward. Now, I understand that some of us have this feeling that the relationship is not the same anymore and that leads us to be self-conscious about our P’s and Q’s. However, we have to remember that it is the same person whose presence had been so influential in our life at one time that we never even thought about what to talk and had conversations for hours. That thought must be a good enough reason to avoid the initial awkwardness. I mean come on, we didn’t take the initiative to spend the opportunity in awkwardness only, did we?

 

Talk

What to talk? Now, you may feel bafflement, but this is especially relevant if you had a fall out in the past. In my humble opinion, it’s better to get rid of the elephant in the room as soon as possible. That includes the necessary formalities and the issue in question. For people who have a shared history for at least some period in the past, topics for discussion won’t be hard to find. Reminiscing old memories that start with the expression “Do you remember…” will be plenty. So, don’t stress about finding a topic to focus on like going to a seminar.

It’s your old friend, and you don’t need a topic. You both must have a pile of both necessary and questionable topics. However, first, discuss and try to clear out the issue at hand. If the situation goes well then it was worth it or else you know the future of the relationship. Ignorance is bliss when done unknowingly otherwise it’s a whirlwind of overthinking moments. It’s always better to know.

Overcome The Disinterest From The Other Side:

 

Well, you can’t please everyone. You charm doesn’t impress everyone, and some people will show disinterest no matter how hard you try. If a person doesn’t respond to you in two attempts, stop bothering him. Just say to yourself that this was the best that you could do and if the person isn’t responding then he doesn’t value you.

We don’t want to be with people who don’t appreciate us.

 

Some Points To Keep In Mind Before You Begin to Rekindle

 

  • First and foremost, a thing to remember is, don’t lose your self-respect by appearing to be too desperate for attention. Maybe the other person is shy, or perhaps they are not interested or as enthusiastic as you are. However, you will get the vibe from them somehow about what they want next. If the friendship has undergone a downtime for a period, then let it rise slowly and steadily. You don’t have to rush and weaken it in the process. The relationship may not revive after this fallout. So, take things slow and patiently, as things take time to unfold. Have light and polite conversations. Let them have the opportunity to approach you as much as you are willing to approach them. Don’t intimidate them by being too active in showcasing your feelings. Remember stews taste better when simmered for hours instead of being cooked in a microwave!

 

  • Social media is for socializing, but it leads to much scrolling. It’s completely fine if you are updated with whatever is going on in that person’s life without them knowing as long as you don’t cause them any potential harm. Whether to take that first step of reconciliation on social media or not depends on the intensity of the issue. If you have just lost touch over a period, it is okay to connect on social media but if you have had a serious conflict and want to resolve it now, I feel, it’s better to pick up the phone and talk. If you are putting in efforts to connect and they are not responding and are persistently avoiding you, then it’s high time you realize that you are just wasting your time. Instead, that time can be spent with your existing friends. Also, we should not comment unnecessarily on their posts and assume that their posts are somehow directed towards us. Stalking is fun and fine as long as it doesn’t engulf you to think something out of nothing.

 

  • I love these lines from Dil Chahta Hai movie, “Har dosti mein ek hadd hoti hai jo nahi paar karni chahiye” and “Is ret ko jitna apne haath mein bandh karne ki koshish kare, yeh utni hi haath se nikal jaati hai.” So, no matter how thick your friendship, never cross that line or take any friend for granted. Talk it out but in a way that won’t hurt the other person’s sentiments. Also, we need to learn to give space. There are times when we feel like spending time with ourselves and want our friends to be confident that there’s nothing wrong if we demand that ‘me-time’ in a friendship.

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